Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
