i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
