just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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