Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm like, not good at living.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
