Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
