I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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