The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
