I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This is the high leading the old right now
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
