about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
