so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
