I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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