They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize