your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
