my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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