We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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