I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
