shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
