Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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