i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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