just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
even my farts smell like vagina
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
