you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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