I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
