i would punch a child for taco bell
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
God, I missed his penis.
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