Quick, to the slutcave!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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