I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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