dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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