I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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