Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
