i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
