I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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