But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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