Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
