Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm at about main and main street
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
