I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize