I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
