i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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