The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
