Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
