She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
