is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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