watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
