i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
