Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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