I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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