So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
