two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize