There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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