he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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