Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
