I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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