thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
