I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
