question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
