im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
