Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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