What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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