the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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