the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
