He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Found the puke drawer
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
