She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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