He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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