You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
