he referred to my room as the tit cave...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
