he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
