Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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