I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
