Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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