Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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