You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
