He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
