false alarm. still invincible.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
