After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
