after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
