doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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