I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize