what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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