dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize