dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
