He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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