Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
