don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
