And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
