You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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